the dust settles

We try to be strong at times when we know that our strength is not enough to get us through a situation.
Situations will never be according to our convenience, it is we who have to try and convert that state into the nearest possible convenient state so that we can focus on it and get affinated towards it and work on resolving it. This applies for every situation.
Life is like wise. Even in this purgatory, we will face situations that will make us feel rebellious, try to break us down but it is then that we should turn the tables and face the music, start liking it and eventually change it to a more convenient tune.
A few days back, a normal day dawned, the usual routine followed and life was going on in a monotonous manner when a dark cloud built up and was getting darker.....
All that was left was to walk into the storm, face the challenge and embrace it such that the challenge became a fantasy and I would be able to conquer it....
So it began, the situation cribbed in, the intensity grew and the pressure ascended but as time passed, I adapted to the situation, created my own comfort zone and finally the storm broke into a clear blue sky and I accomplished my goal.....

I reached the summit and below me stood all that I had left amidst the barren ground....

'as the dust settles' became a reality......

Ciao...

The "confusion" dilemma

Before you even start thinking that there is something wrong with my “vocabulary”,I would suggest you go through the document and then you will realise that it does make sense as this piece is related to a confusion within a confusion which causes a confusion such that the confusion confuses you as to what are you confused about….
So here it is….
It so happens that sometimes you make a mistake but not something that leads to disaster but it leads to moments of absolute fun for others and makes you a silent listener for the next few moments.What exactly happens is that you regret regarding the statement you made or the thing you said but at the same time you enjoy the consequences even though you are the one being grilled but this grilling is unlike the serious ones.This is the one where all you can do is silently laugh and hear the other person laughing their hearts out while they exaggerate what you said and at the same time repeatedly remind you how much “fun” in the conversation is going on.
So the title refers to the state where I could not figure out whether I was regretting the fact that I had said something which had lead to this “grilling’ or I was regretting the grilling because I was enjoying the grilling to a certain extent and at the same time glad at the fact that I had said something stupid because it led to this atmosphere which was filled with laughter for a couple of hours.Hence the regret was basically because I was at the grilling end but the glee was there because of the vibe that had been created.Thus there was a contradiction occurring  simultaneously but eventually it got over and everyone involved in this had a good time for a couple of hours.
  So it was a state of confusion within a confusion or the confusion dilemma.

More to come….
Ciao… 

voids and fillers

Wow.....
Happiness comes in packets......is it???
Not in this case...
It so happens that if the pessimist part dominates,its hard to get over it...but I did get over it and now what follows is as follows....
I know I wanted something but wasn't aware of what I desired,So I did not pay much heed to it and life moved on.It so happened that life took a turn and under strange circumstances a void seemed to creep in at every curve of life.That was when I got a bit frustrated and was anxious to know what the void was about but couldn't figure it out. I did not give up but did not dig further into the matter and let life move on. But life had some answers to give and I finally got those answers to the unavoidable "void" which I was trying to fill and once I got the solution, I did not waste time in trying to fill the void up and so I advanced and took the next step and now somewhere I feel the void is filled and I feel 'complete'....
It took some time but it did happen and I got the answers....
The next bit will be how I got the answers.....
Till then...
 ciao....

Ecliptic Cruciate -part II

It must have happened that at times when you meet failure,the feeling of atheism takes over you and you feel that all the ‘prayers’ or the belief has gone into waste and life has planned all the misfortunes for you and to keep you in the darkness until it seems brighter than the light.Those are the times that the highest aggressiveness takes control and at that moment anything crazy will attract us…..

Similarly the music was there for our lyrics but what we were missing was the lyrics.Nothing was coming in to meet that level of energy or that level of insanity such that we could feel that the words fit into the song.So we just waited for it to happen naturally and not force the words out of us.

A few weeks later it so happened that someone did meet with a  failure and it was that point that the failure could not be shared because of the fear of being mocked at by everyone who would know that the attempt to pursue something went in vain and so that anger,that deceased faith,that false belief took over but there was no one around with whom it could be shared and thus  words started pouring out and they were not just words,they were literally a sword ripping every belief that one had into shreds and it kept on flowing and after literally hours of shredding,there lied on the table written in a piece of paper 6 verses of frustration.

Just to give you a clue of how deep the level of frustration was,here is  an extract of the lyrics:

“The vengeance they seek and the prices all paid,

With the crimson stain painted on the blade,

And the screams resounding in every dream,

A life without fear is all I say”

           

Once this set of lyrics was presented,everyone was in shock and awe due to the darkness inflicted by the lyrics and the anger stored in every word and all were thinking about how to make a sound for this set of words (since it had been weeks,the tone composed earlier was almost not in anyone’s mind).So now all thought of giving justice to this set of lyrics because it seemed really genuine and what we were looking forward to when all of a sudden we recalled that we had a music composed which was searching for a set of aggressive lyrics and so we played the music and demoed it along with the words we had and it seemed like the music was made for this set of words and no other lyrics could bring justice to the music and vice versa

Thus finally we had a full demo prepared that had a “death metal” vibe to it and it justified the name we gave it….

“ECLIPTIC CRUCIATE”

Thus ended a chapter which we had given up on almost ever being completed.

More awaits..

Ciao….

Wandering alone,many thoughts can cross one's mind with respect to his personal life,professional life or any other life or with respect to what is he/she doing with his life.
Those are the moments that help a person realize whether that  which direction is his life heading towards and how will that shape his upcoming life or his upcoming days because one shouldn't have a finger at the end to point at anyone as we are all equally guilty for making and shaping our life but its the human nature not to accept one's fault and always be ready to blame someone else for their defeat.
So....how did we get here.....
One fine evening,the weather was such that the pouring would start any moment.The environment was crimson shaded and i was standing below it which seemed like i was standing amidst the upcoming wrath of nature.Staring at that scenery i tried to reflect it on my own life as in who am i in comparision to that wrath.Am i ready to face it head to head or do i duck out and save myself???
At that point i realized that i am a small pebble amidst the ocean who will get washed away with every tide that runs over me and that made me realize where i stand.
So its high time,a new journey about to be embarked and i am ready to prepare myself for this upcoming battle which is also known as "life" such that i have answer to every question that it asks me and i never have to even think about pointing a finger out to anyone but myself and i should make sure that these words do not apply to me....

                                                                 "You're guilty all the same
                                                                   Too sick to be ashamed
                                                                You want to point your finger
                                                              But there's no one else to blame"    
                                                                                           (linkin park:guilty all the same feat. Rakim)

ECLIPTIC CRUCIATE- part 1

Three windows were open….

One for composing,one for mixing and one for writing but all of them were empty and it seemed like I had nothing to fill in that void or so it seemed at that point. But at that point who was to know that what awaited ??

Random riffs were being generated along with ill noises which could literally damage the ear but then it seemed that the same ‘ill’ noise if played at a lower tempo such that it doesn’t dominate the music but sounds like a small element with respect to the  context of the entire track, wouldn’t sound unappealing but instead would add a bit of a flavour. So it began with the track building initially from rough riffs to a more clean rigid riff section with a layer of the same odd noise but this time tuned to sound like music and then the drum parts came in along with the remaining guitar stuff.

Now tracks were there but they all needed to sound like they are generated from the single thread and so now the composing part began with the first window getting occupied  with each sound being complied with the next one such that all of them sounded like they are cousins.

Following this began the mixing section where each sound was levelled up or levelled down so that the music would be pleasant rather than NOISE and that was tedious but was achieved.

Finally came the writing part as in writing lyrics and that was the part which would define that the melody composed is a good melody or a good song and so now began the part where the listening was done repeatedly to the composed music to catch the vibe, energy and  the theme of it so that appropriate words would come out and it was at that time that the frustration started growing and the feeling dominated of something good being KILLED IN DARKNESS or simply being ditched in a wrong way with respect to the music made because of not being able to find the right words to fit into that music and thus came the name “ECLIPTIC CRUCIATE”.

Eventually the lyrics was done but that’s a whole new story but to give a hint, two lines of the lyrics are given below which may give   a brief idea of what started cooking…

“A thousand curses is not worth to die,

When a heart is all that beats to live”

More awaits…

Till then..

Ciao….

some stories you tell.....some  you dont.....

not all stories that are a part of our life is worth sharing or even worth remembering but this story is (atleast for me)  worth a lot and worth sharing....

At certain points in life we come across people who will appreciate the "darker" side of ours and go along with even if they don't like it so that they can get what they want whether it be attention,love or whatever it is they want out of us but  there will also be people across whom we will come who will unknowingly remove/extract that darker side of us such that one fine day without knowing the light will attract us more than the shadows  and we will like facing the light and dread the dark....

Being a computer science student it is worth putting it in terms of coded words...

a system will come across various processes but there may be one process which,after entering the system will not leave the system until the system "crashes" and once inside the system will end all the "queuing" mechanisms with respect to the system such that no other process would be affinated by the system....

yes..this is something or rather sort of a teaser that happened most recently and found it worth sharing.....

courtesy for the person who unsuccessfully SCARED me,partially succeeded in IRRITATING me but most importantly successfully SAW through me or rather READ me....

more to come...

till then...

ciao.... 

 

Original MAYHEM, CADAVER Members Join Forces In ORDER

Original MAYHEM drummer Kjetil "Manheim" Haraldsson, original MAYHEM vocalist Eirik "Messiah" Nordheim, original CADAVER bassist René Jansen and CADAVER mainman/guitarist Anders "Neddo" Odden have joined forces in a new project called ORDER. The new band's mission statement is simply "to restore order and celebrate Pure Fucking Armageddon for all!"

for more info,visit:http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/original-mayhem-cadaver-members-join-forces-in-order/